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SERIOUSLY, Im really in a terrible mood now. Please dont read this post if u don't want me to spoil ur mood.



This is the first time i have this strong feeling . I'VE LOST MYSELF.I dont really know is it correct to say it like this, but this is the only way i think i can say.Now, what i feel is, Im just like a dead body with no feelings and soul.I'm repeating what i do everyday. Sleep-eat-school-study-projects-tuitions.Not meaningful at all. I just try to finish all my homework and projects everyday, try to fulfill what the teachers desires.It is not the lifestyles i want at all.Today I read one chinese passages on human life and what i dont really agree is every human life can be very interesting if it is made into a movie even though a beggar's life.
Yes, maybe some of my life is meaningful and remarkable but i dont really enjoy my Form 3 life. It was too stressful for me. A mountain of projects, three years syllabus of studies and my piano exam.I want a break,maybe three days of holiday without books and projects will do. Let me sleep and do whatever i love.

I went to english tuition today and what i did last week very dissapointed me and her. I dont really know why I did this kind of work often this year. She said I struggle too much upon myself this year. Maybe I really put too much pressure on myself. It doesn't give me any benefits.She said what i did last year was much better than this year. I dont know why Im still not in the right track even though it was already april now.I did a lot of gramatical errors and wrong writing method. I really dont noe why! Seriously~ what the hell im doing now!!!! I almost cry there not because of her words but because of I dont understand what am I doing this few months. My scedule are messy now, revision and project time are not properly organised and no time to practice for my grade 6 piano exam on next month.I did again the essay for her, but it was still a lot of red words. Dissapointed!!!! I want to get away from here right now but where can i go?!
Tonight's dinner was tasteless and I dont have the appetite to eat even though some of it was my favourite dishes.I want a shoulder to cry out but i guess no one will ever borrow me his/her shoulder for me.

I hope i can get sick right now. At least I can take a break from studies-projects and stressful life!
I wanna go overseas to take a break. However, I need to wait until the mid year holiday. Bangkok~ Im coming soon! *Sigh*


I lost my soul.
I lost myself.

I'm just like a corpse.





*Ignore my errors. No mood to recheck.
*Sorry for the people who reads my post if i spoil ur mood. Really sorry.